Be Curious, Not Judgemental: The Lawyer’s Superpower Is Listening

Be curious, not judgemental

One of the most important skills we can possess as lawyers is the ability to listen to our clients. Strong client communication for lawyers starts with curiosity, the ability to really listen and understand what is driving their decisions.

Sometimes, a client may contact us about a transaction they need our assistance with. This is fabulous, the opportunity to help and to win new work.

All of this excitement can, without realising it, lead us to rush to judgements about what our clients need before we have talked to them about their bigger picture.

Thinking about this reminded me of the famous quote from Walt Whitman:  ‘Be curious, not judgemental’.

Nowhere have I seen this quote explained better than in an episode of the absolutely incredible Ted Lasso on Apple TV.

If you haven’t already seen it, Ted Lasso tells the story of a college American football coach hired to coach an English Premier League football team, despite having no experience of English football.

In one excellent scene, Ted is introduced to the owner’s ex-husband, who is unhappy at the team’s progress under their new coach, and challenges Ted to a game of darts. 

Check out the scene here. I should warn you, it does contain one swear word, but I’m hoping you can overlook this for the wonderful point it makes: 

As you’ll see, the line between being curious and judgemental can be very thin, but it can be the difference between fully understanding the situation and completely misinterpreting it and, ultimately, missing out on working with the client.

Clients want to be listened to. They want to know that you understand their bigger picture goals.

To do that, you have to ask ‘why?’: Why is the client making this move, buying this company or starting this litigation?

You have to ask open questions that allow the client to talk, to disclose all the facts.

You have to be curious, not judgemental.

Remember, you are an advisor, and the more you know, the better the advice you can give.

That’s it for now.

As always, if you have any questions or want to chat through ideas, feel free to get in touch.

All the best,

Scott